Mormon Vegan Straight Edge girls are hot!

I got random text message one day:

Mormon Vegan Straight Edge girls are hot!

I tried calling back right away to talk to the person to see who it was. It went straight to voicemail. So I ignored it expecting to be one of my prank calling friends from Salt Lake City.

About a week later, I called again. Voicemail, again. The outgoing message was just the default robot voice “You have reached the voicemail for 2066357611, please leave a …” So whatever, definitely a prank call, right? But here’s where it takes a weird turn to crazyville on the coo-coo train making stops at what-are-you-about-talking station and who-are-you junction.

I got a text back right after that second call that went straight to voicemail. So to me that says, I want to talk to you, but not quite reveal my identity. The text came from the number above with a +1 in front of it, meaning it’s instant messenger on a phone. The replies were fast too, a little too fast if you know what I mean. Sidekick, I’m looking your way.

We went on a bit texting back and forth. Here’s the entire verbatim transcript of our conversation.

Him
What’s up?
Me
What are you up to today?
Him
Work, then poetry tonight. You?
Me
Who is this?
Him
Your greatest admirer.
Me
I can’t think of any admirers i have. Let alone my greatest. Sorry. Have we met?
Him
You ride fixed gear, and you are straight edge. How could I resist admiration? And no, we haven’t met yet. Want to come to poetry in Fremont tonight?
Me
If we’ve never met. How do you know about me?
Him
You were selling a fixed gear on cl. (editor’s note: cl = craigslist.org. the listing has expired now, but there are photos of said fixie on my flickr account.)
Me
Do you know that i’m a boy?
Him
Nope. Haha!
Him again
Do you know asian brian?
Me
Nope. Why did you assume that i was mormon?
Him
The Utah number.
Me
Man, you’re just full of assumptions. Next time, you probably want to try a different approach.
Him
Haha!
Me
Don’t write me anymore.
Him
Okay.

Um… awesome? Or something.

I never learned who he was. His phone number / instant messenger / text address is 2066357611 / +12066357611, ya know, just in case you wanted it for a bored rainy day or long ride from some random town to some other random town with some random stranger who just happened to pick you and friend up on the side of the road. Or whatever.

Be sure to report back any new developments.

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